


It Was You

by Sum1



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:01:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27664417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sum1/pseuds/Sum1
Summary: A Wenrene one shot dumpCrossposting from AFF :)
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Blanket

It's old.

The loose stitches, the tattered edges, the plush softness gradually lost over time with wear and tear. The colours have long faded, no longer vibrant as it once was and instead have turned dulled and muddy. It ought to be thrown out.

She brings it close and inhales. There's a faint scent that's overwhelmed by the mildewy smell from being stored too long in the closet. It's familiar, nostalgic, and triggers a rush of memories to the forefront of her mind that makes her heart beat with trepidation.

Some, she longed to forget, longed to repress and bury deep in the recesses of her mind. Whilst others, she longed to remember, desperately clinging onto the tendrils of memories that faded with time. 

The weight of the blanket in her hand felt reassuring like a forgotten piece of herself, lost now found. Joohyun subconsciously clutches it tighter to her chest and it's then that her eye catches the patch of brown stain on the blanket. And she suddenly recalled a memory many winters ago. A memory forever etched in her heart, something that unfailingly brought the curves of her lips upwards. She grinned, eyes shining with mirth.

***

It had been in the middle of winter when it happened, a snow storm to be exact. The relentless downpour and the howling winds outside raged through the night and in her feverish, bed ridden state, worry and fear tugged at her heart because Seungwan had yet to return.

Joohyun had lost track of time, slipping in and out of consciousness but vaguely recalled the front door shutting earlier and the lack of noticeable footsteps that softly pattered through the apartment.

"Joohyun?"

She languidly opened her eyes, blinking away the haze and fog that clouded her mind. A streak of light shines into the dark bedroom and Joohyun is grateful that Seungwan doesn't bother with turning on the lights. She attempts to sit up but immediately lays back down, head heavy and spinning from the sudden vertigo.

"Seungwan, where did you go?"

"I went to buy your medication."

She felt the bed dip as Seungwan sat on the edges and flinches at the ice-cold hand gently placed on her forehead.

"You're still burning."

Joohyun watches the crease between Seungwan's eyebrows deepen. She reaches out and with the tips of her finger gently smooths out the lines.

"You'll get wrinkles if you frown." Joohyun smiles.

Seungwan raises an eyebrow. "I'm flattered that you're concerned about the state of my appearances, but I think we're getting distracted from the main problem. Here," there's a distinctive sound of rustling plastic, "take these."

The blonde helps Joohyun prop herself against the headboard. She hands her two pills and a glass of warm water to which Joohyun obediently takes before easing under the covers once more with Seungwan's help.

"Can you come to bed?" Joohyun asks in a small voice.

Seungwan cups her cheek and gently kisses her forehead. "I just need to put some things away first. I'll join you soon."

She leaves and Joohyun closes her eyes once more but it's short lived because a loud thud echoes through the apartment followed by a cry of pain. Her eyes startle open.

"Seungwan?" She tentatively calls and when there's no response, Joohyun wills her body out of bed, concerned by the silence and shuffles to the living room.

The first thing she sees is Seungwan on the floor tangled up in her yellow duck blanket. The younger woman groans as she pushes herself up from the ground where she face-planted, and maybe it was the medication, or maybe it was the delirious state induced by the fever, but Joohyun couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips. It doesn't take long before the giggles turned into full laughter.

"I'm glad you found some humour at my expense," Seungwan deadpans.

"Are you okay?" Joohyun does her best to stifle the sounds but gasps in horror when Seungwan turns to glare at her. "Seungwan, you're bleeding!"

"I am?"

The younger woman wipes her nose to see the smudge of blood on the back of her hand.

"Oh god, I think I got blood on your blanket when I tripped."

Joohyun tugs Seungwan towards the bathroom to wash off the blood but the younger woman is more concerned by the reddish patch that has now stained the blanket, trying to wipe it off with some water.

"Seungwan, it's fine. I can just wash it later."

"I know, but it's just going to look so bad you know? And I know how much you love this blanket."

Joohyun pulls the blanket out of Seungwan's hands, grabbing her attention.

"Seungwan, it's fine. Really. This blanket means nothing when I have you." Joohyun looks at her with soft eyes. "You can be my blanket," she says as an afterthought.

Seungwan eyes her curiously. "It's the medication isn't it? Usually I'm the one spewing the cheesy nonsense."

Joohyun rolls her eyes. "Let's just go to bed."

***

She blinks and breaks away from her reverie.

"Joohyun? Are you done? We need to leave s– What are you doing?"

Seungwan stops by the door when she sees Joohyun standing still with an absent look across her face. Her eyes flicker to the item clutched in her hands.

"Oh wow, we still have that? I swear it had been thrown away," Seungwan comments running her hand across the coarse fabric. "Do you want to take it with you?"

Joohyun thinks for a moment and shakes her head with a smile. "I already have a better blanket. I don't think I'll be needing this one anymore." She gives her a knowing look.

Seungwan smirks and pulls her in for a kiss. "I'd have to say that I one hundred percent agree with you. After all, nothing beats a blanket as soft and cute as I am, right?" She wiggles her eyebrows for good measure.

Joohyun laughs. Seungwan was right.

Nothing was better than being wrapped in the warm embrace of the one you loved every night. 


	2. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Submission for #wenreneArtTober

The sensation hits her like a freight train.

It violently jerks her out of slumber and rips her eyelids open, chest heaving and lungs gasping for air as her heart pounds against her ribcage.

A shadow looms over her vision and a piercing scream dangles on the tip of her tongue, but the sudden touch against her cheeks calms her senses immediately.

"Joohyun?"

The voice was barely a whisper and there was no mistaking the underlying worry laced in the tone, but Joohyun was too focused on the gentle brush of Seungwan's thumb across her cheekbones. She leans into the touch, the strokes easing the stiffness of her body as she blinked away the remnants of her dream.

"Bad dream," she whispers before Seungwan has a chance to ask. Her voice quivers and Joohyun presses a hand to her chest to still her rapidly beating heart.

Seungwan doesn't say anything and Joohyun senses that the younger woman must have been waiting until she was ready. Seungwan's considerate like that. But even in the darkness, there was no denying the waves of concern emanating off of her. It takes a moment before Seungwan lays back down again, pulling Joohyun close and tucking her into an embrace without question as they attempt to lull back to sleep.

She greedily inhales the younger woman's scent and it calms her frazzled mind. She doesn't understand how Seungwan does it. Doesn't understand how a mere touch has the power to relieve all her fears and anxiety; have them dissipate just like that. Yet, at the same time, it was the same mere touch that was so dangerously capable of setting her skin aflame, igniting an unmistakable heat that would pulse from her core.

Seungwan's voice cuts through the silence just when Joohyun's thought the younger woman had drifted back to sleep.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Joohyun shakes her head. A part of her fears that she would speak it into existence.

"It's nothing, just a silly dream."

Silence ensues and Joohyun realises that Seungwan was waiting for her to elaborate.

"I don't remember it clearly but, I just know that you were hurt," she pauses, hesitantly, "because of me," she whispers, her own voice deafening in her ears. 

Joohyun had been vague, purposely so, because she could not bear to recall the vivid details of her nightmare. Didn't want to. And she was so afraid that Seungwan might have noticed how much it rattled her more than she let on.

"It's just a dream," Seungwan reassures her. "I know you would never intentionally do anything to hurt me."

She says it with so much conviction that it scares her, but Joohyun nods because she knows she would rather die first before ever hurting Seungwan. She buries her face into the crook of the blonde's neck and wills away the unsettling thoughts.

"But if you ever do hurt me," Seungwan drawls sleepily, "I'll make sure to find you in every lifetime to annoy the shit out of you. I'll latch on and never let go."

The corner of Joohyun's lips tug up in a small smile at the teasing lilt in Seungwan's voice before feeling the latter softly kiss the top of her head.

"Should I be worried then?"

"Depends. Does the prospect of me annoying you for the rest of eternity concern you? I must warn you; I can be very irritating if I want to."

Maybe it wasn't all that terrible –she wasn't exactly sure– but if it meant having Seungwan in her next life and the one after that, then maybe just _maybe_ , it would be worth it.

She'd just have to first find an alternative way to ' _hurt'_ Seungwan.

Preferably with pleasure.

Yes, that could work.


	3. Minty Fresh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wenrene and their petty squabbles

"Rock! Paper! Scissors!”

A stretch of silence filled the room save for the sound of their breathing.

Seungwan stared at the clenched fist in front of her and it took a couple of seconds before her brain registered what had happened. She glanced down at her own hand where her index and middle finger formed a 'V' making a peace sign.

And then the crushing realisation sets in.

The blonde fell to the ground pitifully as her knees buckled, completely flabbergasted whilst the owner of said fist gazed down upon her, the corner of their eyes crinkling with amusement that blatantly mocked her despair.

Seungwan shook her head with disbelief. “No, no this can’t be happening,” she breathed. It was impossible. There was something wrong, terribly wrong because she was absolutely certain she had been a fraction slower. Saw the sign in that split second before it had been played out.

Joohyun smirked and crossed her arm, sneering down –or at least that was how she saw it– with a painfully annoying look of triumph smeared across her face. She crouched down until they were at each other's eye level.

“Did you think _you,_ of all people, could have won against me?” She whispered in a low tone, eyes pierced straight into Seungwan's sending chills down her spine. Oh, Joohyun could be so cruel at times. "Seungwan my dear, you are a hundred years too young to think about beating me."

Seungwan scoffed and mustered up the most menacing glare as she firmly held the older woman’s cocky gaze.

“I demand a rematch,” she declared.

Joohyun snorted and stood up, "You can't just demand a rematch because you lost; you knew what you were getting yourself into."

The younger woman huffed in exasperation and jerked her head to the side. Joohyun was right. She knew very well what the repercussions were and yet she had _still_ foolishly agreed. It was a foolhardy decision that now left her bearing the consequences of her actions. _Although_...a part of her was seriously tempted to childishly stomp her feet and sulk to the older woman. Maybe throw in bit of aegyo because Joohyun was a sucker for that kind of stuff. Especially when it was Seungwan who was doing it.

_No, I refuse to resort to such measures. I have my pride!_

Curse her stupidity for thinking she could win against Joohyun.

Seungwan dropped her shoulders in resignation and held her hands up in mock surrender. “ _Fine_. You win, I lose.”

“Excellent. Now take this," Joohyun said with a pleased smile.

Seungwan grimaced when Joohyun handed her the ice-cold plastic tub. She braced herself and reluctantly removed the lid revealing the light green ice-cream with bits of chocolate sticking out of it. Seriously, who the hell enjoys eating something that tastes like mouth wash? She glanced over at Joohyun who had already gleefully tucked into her tub of strawberry sorbet.

Mint ice-cream was disgusting.

She took a hesitant sniff and held back a gag at the vile smell reminiscent of toothpaste. Maybe she could trick herself into thinking that it was cookies and cream or chocolate fudge or rainbow sherbet or anything but besides this. The blonde sighed.

It was a smouldering day in Seoul, smack bang in the heart of summer with temperatures reaching mid-thirties Celsius. The others were still out on their schedules whereas Seungwan had just finished hers and Joohyun having a rare day off for once.

They had spent their time quietly resting in Seungwan's chilled room because Joohyun's air conditioner had broken down and the repair man had yet to fix it. But even with the air conditioner running on overtime, there was no escaping the lingering humidity and stickiness that wafted through their dorm.

Seungwan had been browsing through the contents of their fridge in hopes of finding something that would satiate her peckish feeling and wouldn't have her sweating buckets in the process, when Joohyun joined her. Her answer came in the form of ice-cream but what they didn't expect, was that there were only two small tubs of ice-cream left, one for each person. But that wasn't the issue per se. The problem? One of them was mint chocolate.

She'd have to have a talk with Sooyoung and Yerim about keeping this repulsive substance in their freezer.

"Can't I share with you?" Seungwan whined, giving her that puppy eye look hoping that it might have tugged at Joohyun's heart strings and it probably would have. But the strawberry sorbet was so sweet and creamy and smooth and refreshing and completed detracted her attention away from the blonde.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"I said, can't I just share some with you?" Seungwan repeated, deadpan.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Oh, come on, please? You know how much I hate mint ice-cream," Seungwan begged.

"You know, it's not good to be picky with your food," Joohyun hummed in between spoonful of ice-cream.

Seungwan narrowed her eyes, "This is not the time to be lecturing me about pickiness over food when you yourself can't eat chicken."

"Hey, chicken makes me sick, there's a difference," Joohyun retorted indignantly, slightly miffed that the younger woman would resort to such an excuse knowing full well the reason behind her aversion to the thin-legged, clucking abomination.

"We played this fair and square," Joohyun reminded.

There was a pause.

"Fine, you're right."

Seungwan placed the tub in her hand down onto the table.

"You stay here and enjoy your ice-cream where as I'm going back to my nicely, chilled, _air-conditioned_ room."

She stalked off, leaving Joohyun standing alone in the kitchen with the sudden realisation that her own room lacked the very same chilled, air-conditioned atmosphere that was present in Seungwan's.

Maybe she should have shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mint ice-cream is awesome :D


	4. Cookies and Snowballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #12DaysofWRistmas : Cookies and Snowball Fight
> 
> Please excuse any errors.

"I can't believe you betrayed me."

Irene sulked, eyes downcast as she pitifully stared at the hamper of Christmas cookies clutched in her arms. They had long gone cold, looked about as hard as a rock and quite frankly, just overall unappetizing.

"It's not that your cookies were _bad_ , it's just that...." Wendy trailed off, her mind drawing a blank as to how she could possibly console the older woman over yet _another_ loss in the annual Christmas bake-off. She stole a glance at the red, kimchi infused cookies and inwardly shuddered, recalling the unusual sour and sweet combination accompanied by the bits of soggy kimchi that replaced the conventional chocolate bits.

Whatever compelled her dearest girlfriend to concoct the questionable amalgamation, Wendy could not understand. But for the time being, she figured the least she could do was fulfil her role and be the supporting girlfriend she was.

"Not that bad?" Irene looked at her incredulously, "It's my fifth time losing this damn competition! How can it not be bad?"

A weak chuckle escaped her lips and Wendy remained quiet, opting to rub the older woman's back comfortingly. Irene's tenacious spirit -or more accurately, her desire to win- was admirable. It was what made Irene, well, _formidable_ amongst their circle of friends _,_ because the woman held absolutely no reservations when it came down to those who foolishly stood in her path of victory.

She had no qualms when it came to mercilessly wiping them out and she would do so without as much of a second glance. Snub out any lingering hopes of redemption. And so, it had been baffling when Irene had been left with her jaw hanging –yet again– when Yeri had gleefully smirked in her face with victory.

"I swear to god, Yeri is doing something with those cookies," Irene groaned, somewhat convinced that there was some form of conspiracy behind the former's winning streak. "There's no way her salmon infused cookies were better than mine!"

Wendy had to agree, but surprisingly, Yeri had somehow finessed her way into pulling it off and was eventually crowned the lesser of two evils.

"Maybe next year," the blonde offered.

Irene gave her a deadpan look. "That's what you said last year."

"And I will say it again this year."

The older woman stopped in her tracks and narrowed her eyes. "Son Seungwan, are you trying to pick a fight with me or make me feel better?"

The younger woman raised her hand in mock appeasement as they approached the front gate of their house. "I'm just being realistic," she nonchalantly said, fiddling with the keys to the front door that she hadn't realised Irene was no longer beside her.

The door had just swung opened and Wendy was about to step in when something collided with her back. She turned around in shock, residual bits of soft snow sliding off of her jacket and spotted Irene picking up the hamper that had been momentarily placed on the ground.

" _Really_?" Wendy raised an eyebrow.

"Really what?" The older woman questioned innocently.

"Is that how you want to play?" Wendy removed her jacket and tossed it through the front door. Gloves were shortly shucked off and sleeves were rolled up.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Irene frowned and stopped a couple feet away from Wendy. "What on earth are you doing? It's freezing cold."

"I think you mean it's about to get hot very soon."

The younger woman reached down with her bare hands and scooped a handful of snow, clumping them together until it took on the appearance of a spherical shape.

"If you throw that thing at me..."

"You'll what? Feed me one of your cookies?" Wendy guffawed.

Irene felt her ire raise and without a second thought, she flung the hamper to the side and ran head on towards the laughing woman. A rather stupid move in hindsight because the clumped ball that had been sitting in Wendy's hand was suddenly on its trajectory towards her face. Luckily, the gods must have felt pity for her prior loss because she had been able to sidestep at the very last minute.

"Seungwan!"

"Okay I have to admit that was a close one, but I didn't expect that you would just charge head on," Wendy explained sheepishly.

"Too late for apologies now Son Seungwan. Prepare for your demise," Irene warned and followed suit in discarding the bulky layers that wrapped around her body.

"I'll have you reminded that I am part _Canadian_ and that this cold is child's play to us."

Irene scoffed as a grin stretched out on her lips. "And I'll have _you_ reminded that your opponent is _me_."


	5. You Were My Snow Angel Whose Wings I Clipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #12DaysofWRistmas : Snow Angel
> 
> Please excuse any errors. Comments and feedback greatly appreciated :)

" _Leave_."

"No."

She bit her tongue against the urge to lash out. The ensuing silence was deafening and only served to fuel her irritation. _Why did she have to be so stubborn?_ Joohyun clenched her jaw, teeth gritted in anger as she swivelled around on the cold floor turning her back to the woman that quietly watched her.

_When did she even get in here?_

The sky was dark and the only source of luminance came from the full moon that eclipsed the room in an eerie white glow. The curtains had been ripped from their hinges, dangling precariously where the hooks had snagged onto the tattered fabric and a quick sweep of one's eyes saw the rest of the room in a similar state. Empty bottles laid scattered along the stained floor; crumpled items of clothing littered in between upturned furniture as though the place had been ransacked, but none of it appeared to have fazed Seungwan who silently stood in the centre of it all.

A part of Joohyun suddenly wished she hadn't torn down those curtains because the moonlight was glaring so brightly through the bare windows and she hated it. Hated how she easily made out the creases of worry marked between Seungwan's brows, the downward pull of her soft lips and the sadness encapsulated in those glossy eyes that pierced through her and nailed her to the floor.

Jagged breaths tainted by the pungent stench of liquor escaped her lips. The notion did little to assuage the agitation that clawed inside her chest or the thrumming sensation that pounded in her head. And it was only after a few shaky breaths that she began to grasp any semblance of control, fingers no longer trembling when they clasped the neck of the glass bottle.

Joohyun drank. She was fine, was what she told herself. It was nothing she couldn't handle and the liquor would soon enough numb her thoughts until nothing would matter anymore.

" _Joohyun_."

But it was just like that with such a simple utterance, her fragile control slipped and the tension snapped.

"What do you want from me!"

Shattering glass echoed in the small room when Joohyun fiercely whirled around, face flushed from the alcohol and the surge of blinding anger that tunnelled through her. She stood up, paying no heed to the shards of glass strewn by her feet and closed the distance until they were but a hair's breadth apart.

Never mind the pain that pricked through her skin or the blood that stained the floor with each step. The burning rage was all that consumed her in that moment and rationale was nowhere to be found.

But in the face of the woman that calmly stared back at her, a woman whose presence she could no longer sense, Joohyun faltered for the briefest of moments and that anger melted into something of an inexplicable ache.

Seungwan's eyes had never looked so empty before.

So hollow, so tired. _Had it always been like this?_ Where were the twinkling galaxies that had once gleamed with life? The hazelnut glazed irises that would turn a million shades of gold whenever they were excited? She didn't know or maybe she did, but the longer she stared at them the more disconcerting they became. It wasn't right. This solemness, vacantness, it was all wrong.

It wasn't Seungwan.

"I just want you to be _happy_."

But the melodic lilt of her voice as she softly implored, begging for Joohyun to understand something that could not be understood –or perhaps chose not to– was unmistakably Seungwan's.

Bloodshot eyes flitted away from the latter's heavy gaze and Joohyun hesitantly stepped back to put some space between them. She slowly shook her head.

"Happiness starts with you Seungwan. How can I be happy alone?" She whispered brokenly, and it upset her that a small smile had emerged on Seungwan's face. Because what was there to smile about. When she was crippled under the weight of her inner demons that relentlessly tormented her mind.

"You've never been alone, Joohyun. Never have. I've been by your side all this time remember?"

 _Ah_.

She had forgotten Seungwan weren't like the others. Had always been kind-hearted to a fault. Always saw the best in people, found good in every situation regardless how bad it was and it was this quality that made Joohyun so angry again.

Because even though Joohyun had done her wrong, not once did the younger woman's gaze change towards her.

"As an apparition Seungwan! A fucking spirit that I can only see once every year on this damn night! Do you know how much it hurts me to see you like that? Knowing that _I_ am the sole reason you're like this! Knowing that you'll never be able live the life you deserve to have?"

"Then perhaps it would be better if you never saw me again."

"What?" Joohyun choked out, stilling in place when Seungwan avoided her gaze. The small smile on her face never vanished but there was no mistaking the sudden resoluteness in her eyes.

"My presence hurts you Joohyun; I see it every year. The guilt, the suffering, the memories of everything that went wrong. You inflict it upon yourself whenever you see me."

"Wait, no Seungwan, that's not what I meant–"

Her vision swayed as she hastily closed the distance once more, galvanised by the dread of panic and foreboding that seeped through her bones. Hands instinctively reached out to grasp the woman in front of her but halted mid-air when she realised what she had attempted to do. What she _couldn't_ do. They limply dropped by her side.

"Seungwan," Joohyun sobbed, "please don't go away, _please_ don't leave me _."_

And she couldn't help it when she started to cry, silently, tears streaked down her face and feeling so lost. Suffocating as she oscillated between grief and despair and guilt that internalised this chaotic dissonance, plunging her down into a spiral of insanity.

"It hurts me to see you like this Joohyun. Hurting yourself, blaming yourself for something–"

"–Then _don't_ leave me," she cut in eyes wide, frantic. "Stay with me like you always have, like you promised to. I'll...I'll be happy! I'll live well, I'll do anything you ask me to Seungwan! Just...just please, _please_ , don't go."

The older woman whimpered and slumped to her knees, whatever little strength left dissipating her body.

"Joohyun..."

Seungwan gently knelt down until they were at each other's eye level, a rueful expression on her delicate face. A tentative hand stretched outwards and placed it beside Joohyun's cheek but not quite touching her as fingers curled like they would have, had she been able to cup the latter's cheek. But she couldn't. Not as a spirit devoid of physical flesh and blood.

"Merry Christmas, Joohyun."

The last thing Joohyun saw, was a tender smile of affection on Seungwan's face and in a blink, she had disappeared.

Outside, as if on cue, delicate white flakes began to fall aimlessly from the clear sky, glittering under the moonlight as it blanketed the world in a white canvas. A dark chuckle left Joohyun's lips as she gazed at sight of the first snow; the Gods were laughing at her.

_"Joohyun, do you know what it means when two people watch the first snow together?"_

_She tilted her head curiously, catching the playful glint in Seungwan's eyes. Joohyun shook her head, "No, what does it mean?"_

_"It means that they'll stay together for a very long time."_

_She didn't know if it was the cold, or the trick of light from the crackling fireplace, or the pounding that echoed in her chest, but something in Seungwan's intense gaze compelled Joohyun to move. And it felt right. In that moment, when she delicately cupped the warm cheek in her palm and closed the gap, gazes never leaving one another's._

_"Then let's stay together for eternity," she whispered, lips grazing against warm ones._

_"And I'll be your snow angel."_

_***_

The next year, a lonely silhouette sat by an empty fireplace whose embers had long died many hours ago. The sky was no longer dark, now replaced by a soft glow that peeked above the horizon.

It was Christmas; Seungwan hadn't come.

And somewhere in the back of Joohyun's mind, it slowly dawned upon her that the latter would no longer be coming anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas folks :D


End file.
